Zippers: Wrath's Fear Exposed!
by BaronBamboozle
Summary: What's this? Wrath fears zipper? Greed's washed. Envy's WHOSE father? Very random, off topic, but has somewhat of a plot. Enjoy! T becauses greed's well... washed.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Owning FMA? Do you beleive in the Easter bunnyas well?

A/N: Enjoy!

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Wrath was sitting on the edge of his bed, nearly falling off, as Envy told, almost whispered, him a story. Unlike most people, Envy had a very... strange imagination.

"There once was a little boy, no older than you Wrath, that had a very favorite jacket-"

"Like me and my foot," Wrath interupted. Envy gave him a bazaar look and said, slightly confused, "Yes, exactly like you and your foot... I guess." Wrath showed his love for his foot to Envy by rubbing it against his face like soap. "Anyway," Envy began.

"Yes. He loved his jacket-"

"Like my foot, " Wrath interupted, again. Envy became quite paranoid that he couldn't go on with his story without Wrath interupting him. He stooped to a lower, more efficient level. "Wrath, if you interupt me again, I SWEAR I'll take your little neck and wring it so hard that it comes right off," in a less than comforting voice.

To show that he understood, Wrath zipped his mouth shut and hid partially under his dull covers.

Envy continued: "He wore the jacket everyday, summer or... not. He took it everywhere; to parties, laundary matts, east side, west side and laundary matts," he was too caught up in his own story to realize his own mistake. "And wherever he went, he always zipped the zipper up.Until," Wrath leaned forward to learn more about the zipper, the boy and whatever else Envy would throw in there. "The jacket became old, stinky, and _USED. _He didn't think there would be any use for it so, he threw it away," Wrath shivered under his blanket. "But that very night that he threw it away, when he thought he was safe, sleeping in bed,IT CAME," his last icey words made Wrath gulp. "You could hear the zipper... zipping up the stairs, zip zap zip zap. Then it reached the boy's room and...stood there, breathing heavily," Wrath was so blunt that he didn't realize all the impossible things happening in Envy's story. "The zipper turned the knob and entered the boy's room, stood next to his bed, glaring at him. In a rough zipper voice, it said, ' you zipped and zipped me beyond my expiration point! And when I became useless, you threw me away! It's my turn now!'" Wrath hid under his covers and screamed, "Make it stop! Make it stop!"

Envy realized that he scared the poor child to death. He liked it. " He was constantly zipped and unzipped, feeling excrutiating pain every time.He had become just like the jacket." Envy located Wrath's poorly hidden head and kissed it, "Good night, Wrath."

Wrath began to cowwer under his blanket, whispering shakily, "There's no such thing as zippers," til it became a chant that led him to false security and sleep.

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A/N: In Chapter 2, Greed comes in and helps Envy show Wrath that fear of zipper and other crap is normal. And fail? And what's this? Greed and Envy are back together? When were they EVER together? oh yeah and R&R! 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Mmmmm... FMA, the best mathematical formula on the planet, too bad I don't own it.

A/N: yay! another chapter up finally, don't worry the next one will contain Wrath.

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Envy layed on the dull red couch,staring at the gorey pictures in a book titled, 101 Ways to Kill Your Ever So Hated Half-Brother While Maintaining Your Relationship with Your Ever Hated Father, Hohenheim. Envy though it was specific enough. He flipped through the pages looking at a funny looking blonde boy get killed in many ways by a sexy looking palmtree-like man. Needless to say, it soothed Envy.

A sudden loud bang made Envy twitch, just a bit. It was Greed, kicking the door open so hard, that it only came back and avenged itself by slamming him down and out. Envy sighed. Greed left a mark on the wall from where the doorknob hit it. Second time around, Greed opened the door slowly and safely. Envy noticed that Greed was carrying a black plastic bag. Greed shouted soberly, "Guessss where I went!"

Envy ignored his question and instead sat up on the couch and said, "Greed. you're sober."

"Wrong!" Greed shouted, waving his finger. "I went to Hot Topic."

As Envy began to stand up, without much thought said, "Good for yo... Wait. They're open this late?"

"Yeah... But their lights weren't working...and there was a gate over the shop...and I was the only one there..."

Envy sighed one again. "What did you get?"

"I got these REALLY awsome pants! They have zippers everywhere, but they costeded me aaaaaaaa shits load of moneys (A/N: These aren't mistakes! They're what Greed's saying!)"

One again mindlessly, Envy said, "Good for-Wait, zippers? You paided?"

Sobberly," I didn't want to, but this rack of pens kept pressuring me!"

Envy sighed for the third time, "Give me the pants." Greed begame protective of the bag and held it up it his chest, with what appeared his best frustrated face he could do. Envy pointed to Greed's shirt and, as Greed looked down, flicked his nose and took the bag. He peered into the bag and saw a heavenly object, zippy pants. As Greed sat on the couch ranting about his privacy, Envy smirked at him and stated, "Take off your pants."

Greed looked at him bewildered backed away and slowly said in a whiney tone, " No, you'll rape me."

Envy closed his eyes and sighed, " I don't have any rapes scheduled for today."

"I don't wanna, I just want to go to my basement and sleep in my sunflower seed." Envy sighed for the fifth time as Greed remarked, " You must be really hungery for air."

"In a manner of speaking," Envy replied. "Just put these pants on, I got a plan..."

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As some famous guy one said, "Read and Reveiw"

Chapter 3, Greed and Envy discuss Wrath's fear with him, will it all shoot to Hell?

Munkie


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA. Do I appear filthy rich? GOSH!

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Wrath lied in bed, innocently…well, as innocent as a blood-thirsty 10 year-old could be. 

He rocked back and forth, tossing and turning. His sheets pile up at one end of the bed as he kicked them away. He rambled on about socks, zippers and other ridiculous fears he had, like cute stuff and Yu-Gi-Oh. How can he spike his hair like that? Wrath's many attempts to put his hair in five symmetrical spikes haunted him. No matter how much hair gel, no mater how much time he put into it, he never accomplished his goal, even with the help of his fellow brothers.

As he tossed and turned, a camera slowly zoomed into his face, "You are now entering the Wrath Zone," said some man with a deep voice as swirls of colour filled that air and random objects appeared out of nowhere. "It's a place, similar to your own, where anything can happen, from the bizarre to the downright creepy," the man continued.

The man behind the deep voice was finally revealed, or his silhouette. He didn't have a _real_ body. Then, with a smoke bomb, Wrath appeared, coughing. He looked at the man and said, "Envy says I shouldn't use those. They're bad for my health or something." Wrath could tell that the silhouette was glaring at him, "Yes, well. This is the Wrath Zone. Anything could happen." The silhouette moved his hands, as if to show Wrath that the zone was mystical. Wrath just scratched his ear, almost mindlessly. Until he clicked, "There's a zone named after me? I can do anything I want!"

The man shrugged, "I guess. But use your powers-"

Eagerly, "I can make you disappear? Like right now?"

"Yes, but-"

Wrath thought hard to make the silhouette man disappear into a warp hole. The man screamed as he was dragged into the hole, where he was sent into the future where Wrath's…wrath rains. Wrath looked around and didn't see the man. "Cool," he said. He was almost fascinated. Almost. He looked around at the white open space. He already lost interest, when he saw a hill in the distance. Wrath could see his socks on one side and an army of zippers with their dreaded zipping noise. All he could do was watch as the zippers mercilessly attacked his socks.

He held his head and screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He went on his knees and began to cry, "Why my socks. They never did nothing to no one!" As if responding to his call, the 'spirit' of the socks came down to him and spoke, "Hush my child. There is no need to cry. No needs to be upset. All you need to do is take revenge for us. Fight them."

"But I'll die."

"No you won't, because you have the power of the palm tree shark hidden within you, and because you're a homunculus. But mostly because of the palm tree shark thing." The other sock looked at his pair, "No. Not really."

"Whatever. This is Wrath's zone. He gets to decide."

Wrath looked at both socks and said, "Couldn't I just kill them all with some big-butt sword like Sepheroph's?" The socks looked at him for his weird wording as Wrath put his head down, "Envy doesn't let me swear…"

"But Wrath this is your world." The socks looked at him. "Whatever. We're dead anyways." They ran off into the sky as Wrath looked at them in their glory. Then he hear the zippers coming and was brought back into reality when he fell on the floor. It was hard and made his back and butt sting for a bit. Then he heard it. Something was coming.

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Author story, my story of writing this chapter: 

Okay, I know. Envy and Greed will do their evil thing next chapter. Enough about them, Thank you for all your reviews! When I saw I had over 10 reviews I cried, "I'm in the double digits now!" My goal is to be in the triple digits now! When I got all your kind reviews I was like, "Awww! I gotta write another chapter!" but I looked at what I wrote in school and thought it was crap, so I went through headaches and even breakdowns just for you guys! Then I had a plan, but I ended up writing this instead, just to make it flow and so Wrath's actions in the future would be justified! I was driven crazy writing this, but it was worth it. Also I got some things off my chest, like the yu-gi-oh thing! Also because some of you guys are watching and waiting for updates (you know who you are) I was proud, and my self-esteem was up. So when people ask me what I did all summer, I can answer, "Wrote! For all my adoring fans!"

Truly yours,

Munkie

Next chapter: Greed and Envy have a chat with Wrath…..

Dedicated to Wrath-lovers everywhere


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA and I don't wanna! You can't make me!

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Wrath pushed himself back with his feet so his back hit the bed without any fear of the monsters under the bed that Envy also told him about. He heard it, zip-zap, zip-zap. The zippers were coming after him. He had to do something, but he was frozen stiff with fear. He heard it breathing deeply by his door. He covered himself with his blanket thinking that the zipper wouldn't see him then.

The doorknob turned as Wrath began to shiver and scream in his scratchy voice, "Go away! I don't want to be zipped!" Through the blanket he could see two silhouettes as the zipping noise continued. Then he heard a deep voice as one of the black figures cupped its mouth, "Wrath, you have zipped me over and over, now it's my turn!"

Wrath screamed in response, "No! I don't even wear zippers!"

"You don't?" said a disappointed figure, who began to scratch his head as the other continued to zip and unzip his pants while bouncing his knees to the rhythm. "Umm… well then…," said the palm tree figure, not knowing what to say, "See ya!" He dragged the other man out the door as Wrath shouted, "I never wanna see you again!"

A few seconds after they left, there was a knock at the door. Wrath hopped onto his bed and gestured for the knocker to come in. After realizing they might not be able to see through the door, he opened it for them. It just so happened to be Envy and Greed. Greed was wearing zippy pants.

"Hi Wrath," Envy said casually waving as Greed turned on the lights. It left them temporarily blind and cursing Greed's existence. As soon as Wrath adjusted to the light, he looked at them with big eyes and screeched, "You should have been here a few seconds ago! The zippers came to get me! They were huge and zippy!" Wrath extended his arms with his unique ability, to show how "big" the zippers were.

Envy and Greed looked at each other and then turned to Wrath, who retracted his arms. Envy sat down on Wrath's bed and urged Wrath to sit with him. When the boy refused silently, Envy pulled him down with force. "Wrath," Envy started when he noticed that he was distracted by a cockroach on the ground. Envy slapped the back of Wrath's head. He was listening now.

There was an awkward silence for a while, until Greed burst out laughing. Wrath turned his head so he could try to understand what was going on, but it didn't work. He finally asked, "What's so funny?"

Trying to hold back the laughter, Greed said, "Oh, nothing, just that you're afraid of zippers!" Envy couldn't help but laugh as well. Wrath got embarrassed, which quickly turned to anger when he started yelling at them and shoved a lamp off his desk, shattering it into a thousand pieces. Envy and Greed grew quiet fast. Envy shifted, "Having fear are normal, Wrath. You see, I fear… um…well, Greed… fears girls! Why do you think he always sticks around me?"

Greed held back a punch, "I'm not afraid of women! It's their nails! They're like so sharp!"

"Just like your teeth," Envy murmured, "but ah, yeah, everyone has fears. No matter how stupid they are." Envy got up and tucked Wrath in bed. "Come Greed! We have some thing we need to talk about," Envy said winking at Greed. He only followed, a little worried and disturbed. (To Be Continued)

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Author note: yay! I finished another chapter! hope you peeps liked it!

Next chapter: Envy and Greed are what? Wrath! What the hell did you do?


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA. I really can't think of anything else to say.

( -.-)

Envy tugged Greed out of Wrath's room, leaving Wrath wide-eyed and stricken with fear from seeing Envy act so sluttish. Envy closed the wooden door slowly. Greed tried to swallow his worst nightmare. The palm tree raised his hand above his head and yawned, "G'night Greed! Go to your basement and never come back!"

Envy walked towards his room, but noticed that Greed was just standing there, without any motion, until he twitched, "That's it? You're not going to rape me or anything?" There was an awkward silence for a while, until Envy asked, "Do you want me to rape you?"

Greed swung his arms. "Well, yeah kind of. I mean, otherwise the rest of my night is going to be pretty boring." They stood in silence again as Envy thought about it, "Okay, I guess I can make room for you in my busy schedule… Oh," Envy gave an evil grin, "I know what game we should play! Come to my room quickly! I have all the equipment in there!"

Envy grabbed Greed by the wrist and tugged him into his room as Greed murmured; "Now that's what I'm talking about!"

( -.-)

Wrath hid under his blanket, one hand holding a flashlight and in the other a pen. In front of him was a piece of paper with holes in it from stabbing the pen too hard through it. Frustrated with the fact that he couldn't write his plan on paper; he began to etch it into the wall. He began to put it down in crappy pictures and, more or less, his own language (bad spelling).

He read out loud his plan as he wrote it, "Step One; Get you're greasy little monkey paws on scissors. Step Two; cut all the zippers off every item of clothing and stuff. Step Three; put them all in a garbage bag. Step Four; burn them and do a ritual dance." The plan seemed perfect! He couldn't wait either; he had to take action now before anything happens! He needs to protect his brothers and sisters!

Step one was to get scissors, something Envy would never let him touch. He had to do it secretly. He does know this one guy that does shady business, he can go to him… Wrath put on his trench coat and black hat and went out for the night.

As he walked in the oversized trench coat, some people looked at him strangely and hid their kids… if they had any. He tipped his hat down to cover his eyes and divert the stares away, but it didn't work damn it. He walked past a couple very colourfully dressed women, who had a very interesting taste in clothing.

He finally reached the brick alley where a man was waiting for him. The man had dark hair, appeared around thirty and had a name tag clearly proclaiming his name as 'Roy Mustang'. He asked Wrath, "Did you bring the goldfish?"

"Yeah, I brought the goldfish," Wrath replied shifting his eyes towards his chest were the bag was hidden, "Did you bring what I want?"

"Yeah, I got it right here," He said showing a bit of the bright red, circular handle from under his jacket. They quickly reached for each other's items, and Wrath ran. As he ran, the shady man yelled, "Hey, these goldfish are real, and defiantly not smiling or cheddar flavored," but Wrath ignored this and continued to run.

( -.-)

As soon as he reached home, he had to decide, whose zippers he should cut off first… Envy. But not to bother him, he'll sneak into his closet like he's done so many times before by going through the wall. He searched Envy's clothes for zippers, ad whenever he cut any off, he said, "This is for your own good!" Every now and then he heard Greed shout something and then Envy shouted louder, "Bullshit!"

When he finished with Envy's room, he went on to Gluttony's, then Greed's, which weren't too hard, but then he had to go in forbidden territory, Lust's room. He snuck in there, like a ninja in his opinion. He managed to reach the closet, when he was stabbed by one of Lust's nails. He looked over at the bed and noticed that she was still sleeping and this was just a subconscious thing.

He managed to take the zippers from everyone's room. He stored them all in a LARGE garbage bag, it was almost moring…

( -.-)

A/N: finally! I know! ok here you go, you know something is going to happen, right? R&R

Next: Envy and Greed did WHAT? And Wrath's gone?


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